10 Rules for Positive Parenting

1.  Know your child. Parents fall short when they try to make their children more intelligent, assertive, and graceful or accomplished than they are naturally disposed to be. They fail them just as much when they ignore or deny their real talents and temperament. 

2.  Know yourself. Examine your motives in wanting more from your child. Parents may have their own shame or unmet needs that they project onto their children.

     Do you want our child to take dance lessons because your parents forced them on you? Were you a mediocre athlete but hope for trophy in the next generation?

3.  Educate yourself. Talk to other parents and your pediatrician, and read child-development books to learn what you can reasonably except from your child at each stage of his life.

4.  Empathize. Take time to see yourself through your child’s eyes. Do you act embarrassed by him? Do you point out only his mistakes? Would you want to be treated that way?

5.  Make adjustments. “No one responds well to someone who is accusatory or judgemental. If you find yourself harping on what your child can’t do, refocus on her strengths. Once you change your attitude, you may find that she changes too.

6.  Collaborate. Create a partnership with your child in which he can participate in setting appropriate goals and solving problems.

7.  Read how your child feels. Your child’s behavior- anger, fidgeting, procrastination- says a lot about whether she is being asked to do more than she can manage.

8.  Explore possibilities. A good way to encourage I to expose your children to a variety of environments, including sports, the arts, nature and science.

9.  Keep your eye on the end goal. A parent’s main objective should be to raise a child who loves well and takes pleasure in life. You don’t want to stifle curiosity, initiative and confidence.

10.   Avoid comparisons. A style of parenting that works for one child may backfire for his sibling. Every child has his own personality.